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With all the flesh on show this week in Queens, New York, would the home of the US Open tennis be better named Flashing Meadows?
We had Carlos Alcaraz serving up nip slips in a turd-brown wife beater tank top. And world number one Aryna Sabalenka debuting a see-through orange mesh dress over a bra and hot pants for her mixed doubles match with Novak Djokovic.
The look, last sported by those plying their trade on a Soviet era street corner, was huffily branded 'trashy' and 'tacky' by many online commentators. Only missing were the white pleather stilettos.
The bulging Belarusian beauty has worn some iteration of the sartorial abomination for every match since.
Meanwhile, walking wardrobe Naomi Osaka flexed the dress code her way, strutting imperiously onto the court in a silver hoodie and sequined net tulle ballgown hybrid.
Inspired by basketball legend Allen Iverson, the look may have whipped the fashion brigade into a frenzy but must have challenged even the most impassive of ballboys to keep a straight face.
Cue more of the predictable pile on…
'If that had happened at Wimbledon, they would have been escorted out,' raged one indignant X user over the 13th seed's attire.
Carlos Alcaraz has been serving up nip slips in a turd-brown wife beater tank top
Aryna Sabalenka debuted a see-through orange mesh dress over a bra and hot pants
Walking wardrobe Naomi Osaka flexed the dress code her way, strutting imperiously onto the court in a silver hoodie and sequinned net tulle ballgown hybrid
Yes, traditional tennis fans will no doubt be ruing the Only Fans vibe and Met gala-style pretensions infiltrating a once conservative and genteel sport.
But let's get some perspective.
Roger Federer himself wasn't immune to a little style subversion. He famously sported a preppy all-white blazer and trouser combo straight out of Brideshead Revisited on his way to win his fifth Wimbledon title in 2007.
No, the latest looks can't be pinned purely on the current Gen Z posturing and the brash excess of our click bait culture. Similar displays go way back.
For a start tennis has never had a uniform. It's an individual sport which thrives on personality and some self-expression. It's why John McEnroe's red toweling headband and foul-mouthed rants remain as central to his legacy as his iconic left-handed play. And the reason why other big icons of the game have often been style mavericks and rule breakers.
Take Andre Agassi.
In his 90s heyday, the Las Vegas native proudly rocked one of the tackiest on court look books of all time featuring denim shorts and fuchsia cycling pants as lurid and neon as the lights of his hometown.
Factor in his iconic highlighted mullet or permed ponytail (revealed in his 2009 autobiography, Open, to be hairpieces secured to his headband or baseball cap) and he was both a brand and fan favorite even embraced by the sedate crowd at Wimbledon.
In his 90s heyday, Andre Agassi native proudly rocked one of the tackiest on court look books of all time
Osaka, a two-time US Open winner, pictured at the US Open in New York this week
But here's a crucial point.
As one of the game's best returners of all time, the flamboyance was backed by substance – a reminder that a maverick image needs the performance to match.
In truth, like a dodgy line call, the success of a statement look can come down to the smallest margin.
Serena Williams's return to the courts at the 2018 US Open final after having her first daughter is a case in point.
For context, the 23-time grand slam winner has often pushed the style envelope with aplomb. She carried off a micro pleated denim skirt at the 2004 US Open that paid homage to Agassi's denim shorts. Even a Nike all-in-one cat suit worked when her peerless invincibility was at full power.
Less successful was being outplayed by Osaka in the 2018 US final while dressed in the ballet-style Virgil Abloh x Nike tutu dress.
Was it worn for a bet? Pushing 200 pounds, the then 36-year-old mom of one had never looked worse throwing a racquet-smashing tantrum while dressed as a giant sugar plum fairy.
With her Darth Vader meets Miss Haversham shtick, Osaka runs a similar risk. Though her first round exit from the 2024 Australian Open after a much-hyped entrance in a jelly fish-inspired ensemble clearly hasn't put her off.
Not to be outdone in the bling department, Sabalenka is also sporting 127 carats of gemstones – sapphire, spinel, tourmaline, garnet and tanzanite – reportedly worth more than $400,000 around her neck and dripping her ears.
Less successful for Williams was being outplayed by Osaka in the 2018 US final while dressed in the ballet-style Virgil Abloh x Nike tutu dress
Sabalenka is sporting 127 carats of gemstones – sapphire, spinel, tourmaline, garnet and tanzanite – reportedly worth more than $400,000 around her neck and dripping her ears
If 'The Tiger' – known for her ferocious temper and dramatic hissy fits – falls before reaching the latter stages of a tournament many expect her to win, the jewels will do little to make an ugly scene any prettier.
Interestingly, while the likes of Sabalenka and Alcaraz follow in a line of extroverts, Osaka is an anomaly. In her case, the high fashion gimmick seems to be compensating for a lack of personality as opposed to an extension of it – though it's undoubtedly working in her favor.
And for those who resent her fashion parade as a self-indulgent side show, I suspect they will have to get used to it.
The game is changing. Like Wimbledon, the US Open has replaced human line judges with fully automated electronic line-calling. The idea is to eradicate the errors that come from the human eye, but it seems to be inadvertently sucking some personality out of the game too.
In many ways today's players have never been quieter on court.
A computer decides if the ball is in or out – quickly – no discussions, no dramas, no flaring of tempers immortalized by the likes of McEnroe, the like of which will never happen again.
Against this backdrop, perhaps its little surprise that the focus will fall even more heavily on image as players let their outfits do the talking.
But nothing speaks louder than victory.
